WAHM – the next big Whammy | Laila Datsur Haksar

Before I had my son I had the notion that working from home would be a breeze. I imagined myself clicking away at the keyboard while my son would sit quietly to the side looking at books or playing unobtrusively with his toys.

Fast forward to the present day and I realise why there are so many sites with “Tips for the Work At Home Mom” (or, since we must make up acronyms for everything these days, W.A.H.M.). My little guy, like most toddlers, needs a lot of attention. Even though I am only working part time from home, I started hunting the web for tips on how to manage my son and my work.

Most people think that they don’t have the discipline to be productive working from home, but WAHMs are on the rise worldwide. The U.S. Census Bureau reported a 35% increase in the number of people working from home in the last decade. And though 36% of Indian women take a break from work (similar numbers in the US and Germany) they come back faster than their western counterparts. According to Forbes almost 91% of women who take a break in India want to come back to work. 58% of those women are able to rejoin full time work, but what about the remaining 33%? They require flexibility and work at home arrangements.*

An example of a company stepping up to the flexi-schedule challenge was Goldman Sachs. Vaishali Kasture is the MD of Investment Management Operations at Goldman Sachs in Bangalore, where she leads a team of 250 people. She has a 5-year-old son. She says that she never took a break in her 20-year-career, but when a family crisis hit last year she was forced to move to a flex-work-arrangement to devote more time to her son. She now comes to office three days a week and works from home the remaining time.*

With India Inc poised to take the steps to let their employees become WAHMs, the question then is – what about you? Are you ready? Yes, working form home provides immeasurable benefits – primarily creating a more family-centered lifestyle. Nonetheless, running a household can seem like a full time job with an unending “To-Do” list. Let’s not forget the myriad of distractions right at your fingertips (read: Facebook, Twitter,Instagram, etc). So then, how do you squeeze in time for work?

From my hours of scouring website after website for tips to be a whammy WAHM – here are some shortlisted strategies to help you out.

We feel pressure to do it all: be the perfect employee, spouse, daughter, daughter-in-law and mother, all while having a spotless home, training for a marathon, being the “Class Mom”, hosting dinners, going out with friends – all these tasks done with perfect hair and non-chipped nails. Seriously?

1. Create a Schedule

This may seem obvious, but it creates a sense of purpose, which in turn will make you more productive. Instead of working only when you have energy or when the kids are suddenly occupied, set aside a specific time slot. Maybe it’s just an hour a day, but at least you know that is your hour. You’ll find yourself prepping mentally for your one hour meeting with yourself, increasing your productivity. You can accomplish a lot in a single hour of focused work. But if you try to steal five minutes here and 10 minutes there, you’ll likely find yourself stuck in the same place for days.

2. Weekly Prep Meeting

It’s 8pm. The kids are asleep. You flop down on the sofa, exhausted. Then you think back over the day… wait…. what did I do all day? It happens to everyone. We bounce from one thing to the next without completing anything. And we get distracted on a seemingly worthwhile task like rearranging your kids’ clothes only to avoid doing what really needs to be done – i e. completing a work project.

The solution? A weekly prep meeting. Take 15 minutes on Sunday evening to establish your top priorities for that week. Don’t sit down and write an endless to-do list. This will just overwhelm you. Try focusing on your goals for your business, your family and even yourself. Desperately need to get in a trip to the hairdresser? Put that down. Your kids’ school has parent teacher meetings? Carve out the time. You’re finishing up a work proposal? Give yourself a due date during the week. Make time for your tasks ahead of time to make sure you won’t run out of time.

3. Let Go

The chances are you were a busy mom even before you decided to go back to work. When you add a new responsibility in to your daily schedule, you’ve got to let go of something. This is easier said than done. Reprioritising and cutting back is hard, but only you can be the warden of your own time. The true challenge is to do this without guilt.

We feel pressure to do it all: be the perfect employee, spouse, daughter, daughter-in-law and mother, all while having a spotless home, training for a marathon, being the “Class Mom”, hosting dinners, going out with friends – all these tasks done with perfect hair and non-chipped nails. Seriously?  We compare ourselves to others constantly, and always end up feeling inadequate. Here’s some advice – give yourself a break! Figure out your priorities for your life. Set them. Be an advocate for them. Be proud of them.

‘Cranky pants’ aren’t just worn by toddlers! Mommies without sufficient sleep are just as susceptible to being cranky. And a cranky WAHM will not be able to manage her work or her children efficiently.

4. Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries!

Linking back to point one about creating a schedule, if you don’t create boundaries around yourself and your schedule, you will flit back and forth between business woman and mom all day long. Reading an important email on your phone, while you play with play-doh with your kids only creates a distracted mom and an annoyed kid.

Boundaries can include a designated workspace and office hours. This way you have the freedom to fully concentrate on your task – be it a budget report or playing dress up. You have to set the tone by safeguarding these boundaries. Don’t take personal calls or answer personal emails/texts during work. Vice versa, keep your phone and computer out of reach when it’s mommy-time. Your family will appreciate the boundaries. They’ll see when mom is working and when she is available rather than constantly having to compete for her attention.

5. Catch your Zzzzs

‘Cranky pants’ aren’t just worn by toddlers! Mommies without sufficient sleep are just as susceptible to being cranky. And a cranky WAHM will not be able to manage her work or her children efficiently. That being said, I can say from experience, working when your child is sleeping lets you truly focus on work. But know yourself. If you’re a morning person, don’t try burning the midnight oil just to get work done. It may seem like it is working, but it will catch up with you and you’ll end up unhappy and sick.

Between being a mom, chauffeur, housekeeper, diaper changer, meal planner, etc., sometimes we forget we also need to be a wife.  You may not feel up for it with food in your hair, and no time for a good blow dry – but it doesn’t matter. Make the time – no excuses.

6. Manners Matter

Often WAHMs feel stretched, and it can be easy to just let the kids run a bit wild. But don’t let them. Stay consistent with discipline. Respect has to be shown and taught. We are there to train our kids to be people of character. So insist on good habits and good manners.

7. Nurses, and Nannies, and Grannies, oh my!

One of the luckiest things about living in India is easily available childcare. Be it grandparents, other family members, nannies or a combination of both, the options are readily available. By having someone you inherently trust watch over, play, entertain and just be there for your child,  will set your mind at ease. This allows you to focus on your work, and hopefully your mind won’t wander to the ever-present paranoid mommy-worry: “Are they ok??” (Don’t-worry, we all have it!)

If you don’t have the in-house childcare option, try swapping play dates with a close friend or neighbour. Additionally, there are heaps of play schools all over India taking toddlers as young as one year old. It may seem scary and they may seem small, so do what you feel is best. If you want to wait until they’re a little older for a structured playschool, then try to squeeze your work schedule around their naps (though this changes!).

8. Dates

No, not the energy boosting dried fruit, rather, I speak of those evenings pre-children, where you used to get showered and dressed to go to grown up restaurants with yummy food, and dare I say, a glass (or two) of wine! Try your hardest to set aside time, at a minimum every other week, for you and your man.

Between being a mom, chauffeur, housekeeper, diaper changer, meal planner, etc., sometimes we forget we also need to be a wife.  You may not feel up for it with food in your hair, and no time for a good blow dry – but it doesn’t matter. Make the time – no excuses. There is no replacing a mutually supportive and loving relationship. Nurture it and treasure it. Along with nights set aside for your husband, set aside dates with each child.  Take them to a movie, to a new lunch joint, explore a new park. The one on one time is totally worth it.

9. You may love your yoga pants, but…..

It may seem silly to even ask it, but right now, you are probably in your PJ’s, right? (I am!)  But according to Dr. Karen Pine, professor of psychology at the University of Hertfordshire and fashion psychologist, dressing casually could cause you to feel less focused and alert, thereby reducing your productivity.

“When we put on an item of clothing it is common for the wearer to adopt the characteristics associated with that garment. It’s the reason why we feel fitter in our sports clothes, or more professional in work wear. This theory supports the notion that we would stay more focused when wearing work clothes, and maybe more cognitively alert than if we dressed down,” adds Dr. Pine.** You don’t need to wear a full skirt suit, but try not to slap on a pair of Lulu Lemon yoga pants and your husband’s old T-shirt.

10. Pre-pack

Pack lunches and backpacks the night before. Enough said. 🙂

For more tips, you can check out some sites:

http://www.parenthood.com/article/whaming_it_and_loving_it_tips_for_the_work_at_home_mom.html#.U_N6I1aDNbs

http://www.stewardship.com/articles/7-tips-for-work-at-home-moms

http://www.parents.com/parenting/work/life-balance/work-at-home-mom-advice/

http://www.perfectlyimperfectblog.com/2012/04/25-tips-for-the-working-at-home-mom.html

Sources:

*http://forbesindia.com/blog/business-strategy/why-indian-women-leave-the-workforce/#ixzz3AY6rrx00

**http://www.forbes.com/sites/ruchikatulshyan/2013/10/17/is-casual-dress-killing-your-productivity-at-work/