They tell you that your whole life flashes before your eyes. It kind of does, when you are hanging on a steep cliff by a single tiny rock that threatens to give in at any moment and all you can see below is seemingly infinite distance to the ground. Don’t ask me how I landed up there, it’s a long story mixed with adventure and a little miscalculation, but the point is – I have seen my life hanging by a thread.
More than once.
There have also been times in my life, like in every normal person’s, when I have cried my heart out. Those are times when everything looks dark and the ground beneath my feet gives way to a gloomy, apparently bottomless abyss. Be it serial miscarriages, freaky medical conditions that doctors are practically clueless about or something to do with emotions, I’ve been through various versions of hell. (Yes, my life has been quite interesting!)
I have seen that it’s okay and sometimes necessary to give the mind time to drive itself crazy weeping and wailing over the usual course of ‘why me?’ and ‘why this?’. (Fortunately I could manage some time for that on the cliff too). But I watch out for that thin line beyond which your mind rolls down the slippery spiral of despair on an auto-pilot.
Before that line is on the horizon, I know that I have to calm myself and put all histrionics of my mind aside. An interesting thing with calmness is that when it is required the most, it is hardest to come by. Don’t ask why, but that’s how it is. All you can do about it is – know this truth and work with it. It’s the same with everybody, if that’s any consolation.
Please know that deliberate working on one’s part is required to bring calmness for most mortals, and that may mean getting help from friends, family and professionals, if required. (I could manage some great counselling from my friends while on the cliff, and it made a lot of difference.)
Then I wipe my tears, if necessary, roll up my sleeves and ask myself the golden question:
Alright, what options do I have?
Now this question is a matter-of-fact one, devoid of all melodrama and my answers are equally rational. This question has single-handedly seen me through many tough times of my life jubilantly. So I have started applying it effectively into my day-to-day life as well. (Come on, everything doesn’t have to be a life or death thing. Those are exaggerations handed out by life to drive some points home).
The biggest of the most successful people have gone through their share of murk – actually, more than their fair share, more often than not. Perhaps the only difference is that they let the tide slide and ask themselves what are their options. And then they pick the best one and put their heart and soul into it as if their life depended on that. Many times it does.
Trust me, it works out for the best. Sometimes to make your life even better than it ever was. (Call me for testimonies, the first one being – I am not hanging off that cliff right now).
About Dinakshi Arora
Dinakshi is a spiritual and wellness coach, writer, educator, reader, poet and former software professional. She is completely in love with life and is its ardent student. An avid learner and unlearner, she is a curious explorer on a joyful path to live all that is.