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How to be more social? | Monisha Doley

Monisha Doley
Miss Ethnic India 2015

Social LifeWe all fancy a great social life, a great social circle and good contacts . Wouldn’t it be amazing, if most of your days and weekends were spent doing fun activities with an awesome group of friends? But for most of you, it remains just a fantasy because in reality you spend most of your time alone.

It’s the same mundane life during the week, office to home and home to office and then it comes to the weekend which is spent mostly sleeping. You already have all the reasons why your life is the way it is. You are busy with your day job, you don’t have time to create a social life and you don’t meet interesting people.

Is this you? Do you fancy a great social life with fun loving people and having fun things to do? Well the answer is simple. Ditch your excuses and stop lying to yourself.

However, it’s a lie that you don’t meet interesting people. In fact it’s nearly impossible. Everyone we meet is interesting, only we need the skill to engage and find that in them. You meet new people everyday everywhere you go, may it be you’re traveling alone, doing your regular trip to the coffee shop, grocery store, shopping mall, bookstore, pharmacy, restaurant or somewhere else. I insist you go to these basic places to increase your chance of meeting new people.


The first step to building a great social life is by making connections wherever you go and with whomever you meet. Start initiating by saying hello or a simple smile to people you meet, even to strangers. Be pleasant doesn’t hurt you.

It’s important to seize every opportunity that presents itself to you wherever you go and with whoever you meet. Do this by presenting yourself in a friendly and approachable manner.

If you are wondering how to start a conversation with someone new, start by simply asking an easy question. It can simply be anything, such as ‘excuse me, do you know the time?’. You have nothing to lose.

Follow up-

Now, this is more important than just being friendly. I know dozens of people who are friendly and are good at making connections right from the first meeting itself. They exchange numbers and cards, but the most essential step is to follow up. It’s not enough to just collect numbers and build your contact list. It’s not going to be useful if you don’t follow up and engage with these people.

The problem with many people is that they wait for the other person to engage with them. Sometimes both parties keep waiting and no one does what’s necessary which is to just text or call.
If you are one of those people, I invite you to come from the waiting side to the engaging side. Instead of waiting for the other person to call or text, just initiate the conversation yourself, drop in a message to talk or plan something. If the other person can’t make it this time, don’t sulk or forget them, just try engage with them again at a later date.

You might be thinking ‘Why should I be the one to take the pro-active approach? Is the other person more important?’ The answer is Yes and No. Yes you are making the other person important but at the same time, you are creating your own importance also. You are giving the signal that you are willing and interested in engaging with this person. The other person might not have a very rocking life, but in rare occasions whenever they do, you’ll be able to reap the rewards from their enlarged social circle. This way you will be in the radar of many more people.

Of course you are dealing with humans and there might be hits and misses with this strategy, but I promise you, this will at least increase your chances of building your social circle and having a great social life. The success guarantee is much higher than just sitting and waiting.

Find out more about Monisha here.
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