Low confidence in women (including myself) has always intrigued me and I have often wondered is it to do with hormones or the mind? Much research has been conducted, numerous debates floated but we still are looking for the answers.
Sheryl Sandberg, in her book, ‘Lean In’ makes some pertinent points about how self-doubt can keep women from optimising their potential in their careers. And what a waste of our talent and potential!
Truly, as a woman I am also fighting this battle. As a coach, as an entrepreneur, as a crusader of woman leadership, I have had the opportunity of meeting and interacting with many successful women. To my surprise, most of the women – the successful and the super successful ones – have flamboyantly displayed shades of doubt and lack of confidence.
Stop Striving for Perfection – Perfection is a journey and never a destination. Just like you, others are also on the same journey. So take pride in your journey, reinforce your achievements – again and again.
I have already humbly admitted that this confidence bug had bitten me as well. I feel good today as I pen my thoughts. I was always ‘good’ in English, graduating in English literature with a rank and I did my post graduate in Linguistics from one of the most prestigious universities in the country. But I was not trained in confidence and was always shy in writing and sharing my thoughts on paper. It took me a while but I’m glad that I realised this and worked on it.
Because I could not find the deep unconscious and subconscious reasons for this lack of confidence, for the time being having left it for the scholars, researchers and psychologists to do the job, I turned my focus towards what can we can do to raise our confidence bar.
- Know Yourself – Knowledge of oneself is supreme. Confidence comes from within. Understanding the layers of thoughts, emotions and beliefs which constitute our outer shell helps us understand ourselves better. Connect with oneself leads to a more positive mindset and a more confident you.
- Believe Yourself – You are what you think. Behaviour follows thoughts. So believe in your knowledge, your experience, your opinion. Say it aloud, “I am the Best” and you will be.
- Love Yourself – Love everything about yourself. Self criticism leads to self doubt and this is displayed in our mannerisms. Love yourself as if you are the most precious gem on this planet!
- Question Yourself – The answer lies within you. So stop looking around for answers and yes, believe in your answers.
- Stop Striving for Perfection – Perfection is a journey and never a destination. Just like you, others are also on the same journey. So take pride in your journey, reinforce your achievements – again and again.