When I was working in a well reputed MNC, the women there would always ask me, “How do you manage work and family?” In my mind, there was never a doubt regarding which to choose if I had to.
I know that I would have reached a higher state of achievement in my career had I gone the extra mile. That extra mile to me meant giving up my family time, not being around, not being available. That extra mile was not worth that. It may very well have shortened my career growth, but it did ensure that I gave my time where it was needed the most.
As you go through life, you will find things are easier if you set the right priorities.
Setting priorities is about making tough choices. Running behind something at what cost. Ask yourself if it’s worth it. At a job interview, I stated clearly, “I will be here by 8.30am and will leave sharply by 4pm. Please assess my performance on the quality of my work and not on how much time I spend here.” I most likely lost out on many opportunities that could have grown my professional career, but I knew it was that, or outsourcing the care and nurture of my family. Then who am I? To me, my identity starts with my family. I believe it to be true for many of us.
Balancing life and all it unfolds is about setting priorities, making choices and staying true to oneself.
By the way, I was extremely productive because I knew I had limited time, so I gave it complete attention. When we do not set boundary conditions in our day, we end up using time for things that are of no consequence. Try applying some time limits and you find yourself focused on the objectives.
We stand at cross roads every single day. Trying our very best to do the most in the little time that we have. Look in the mirror, and really look. List out all you see. Look for what’s there and what’s not there. If you were asked to give up what’s there so you can get what’s not there, will that be of use to you? Think about it…
When you are at conflict with your integrity, then you will not be at peace. When you are choosing, the reasons you give are important. You are making that choice, for yourself, remember that. What you choose, it is for you and not for someone else. For example, “I gave up my career to take care of my baby.” This thought implies you did not willingly choose spending time to take care of your baby over your career. You will find that this disagrees with your internal self, and this internal conflict ends up as a bottled frustration, and it will erupt later on. If you had said, “I chose to be there for my baby over my career. I can always work at a later stage, when the time is right.” This puts the responsibility of the choice taken on you. It shows you as a person standing up for what you believe in.
As life evolves, we go from studies, career, friends, love, family, relationships, health, fitness, spirituality, hobbies, passions and accomplishments. It becomes a juggling act. What I found to work is to know and accept that we live in a transient world. What is real today is not so real tomorrow. If you were then to set yourself a time limit, or other tangible boundaries, you may be able to start making those tough choices and prioritising.
Balancing life and all it unfolds is about setting priorities, making choices and staying true to oneself.
This article was provided by WeAreTheCity Hyderabad Committee Member, Anju Arora.
