Aarti Shyamsunder, PhD, is an industrial-organizational psychologist, with experience in various aspects of the organizational life-cycle – right from designing pre-employment tests for entry-level jobs to developing high-potential senior leaders, and consulting with organizations on their D&I (diversity and inclusion) strategy. In her current role as Director of Research for Catalyst, Aarti is responsible for conducting and disseminating Catalyst’s research on women’s advancement in the workplace, with a special focus on India. Aarti is also the founder of COSI (Community for Organizational Sciences in India), and seeks to spread the use of evidence-based management practices in India. Writing about gender inclusion and busting myths about diversity is one way to spread the message of data-driven decisions. Originally from Mumbai, Aarti has split her professional life working in the United States and India, and is currently based in Bangalore. Passionate about music, reading and travel, Aarti ensures that her work and life blend seamlessly so that she doesn’t have to worry about that elusive ‘work-life balance’!
“Double Standards: Twice as Bad as No Standards!”
He’s the boss…She’s bossy. He’s assertive…She’s aggressive . He’s resourceful…She’s manipulative. He’s well-networked…She’s a gossip. He’s charismatic…She’s a show off. She’s sensitive…He’s a sissy. She’s caring…He’s not manly enough. She’s friendly…He’s creepy. She’s stylish…He’s gay. She’s a pacifist…He’s a wimp.
Time and time again, I have seen these double standards play out – at work, in our families, in our media and popular culture most of all. The same behaviour, the same actions, the same words get different labels depending on whether they are enacted by a woman or a man. The double standards might make for a TV sitcom or a light novel, but the truth is, they cut deep and affect all of us negatively – women and men.
Every time a little girl shows some initiative or leads her friends on a new adventure, and is called ‘bossy’, her self-image suffers a blow and so do her long-term aspirations and life choices. Every time a man goes to a PTA meeting with his child, or goes shopping with his girlfriend and is called “hen-pecked” or “whipped” or a “sissy”, gender parity dies a little.
The truth is, we all walk around with unconscious biases about what women and men should and shouldn’t be. This is a property of being human. The problem arises when these unconscious biases are consciously perpetuated. When we endorse these stereotypes by laughing at a joke that validates one of them…When we use a label like the ones above….When we question someone acting in an unexpected or counter-stereotypic way…When we make decisions about people using our implicit gender-driven assumptions about them…When we buy little girls dolls and little boys trucks…Every time we engage in one of these actions, we perpetuate gender inequality.
The good news is – these are the very occasions we can use as opportunities to fight these stereotypes! These double standards and their accompanying labels themselves present an opportunity to reverse (instead of just perpetuate) gender stereotypes. So the next time you see a woman speak her mind in a meeting or see a man at the grocery store – resist labels and celebrate the fact that in a small way, those people have broken the shackles of stereotypes and raised the banner of gender parity. Because double standards make for the worst standards!
